photography
this here is the best photograph i have ever taken. i took this 3 years ago in a new york hotel room after my family and i got into the city on a humid day. at the time, i was at the start of my portraiture beginnings (i had been taking landscape photographs until then), and i instinctively turned to those closest to me to photograph. this photograph is very telling of my relationship with my family: natural, comfortable, and intimate. even in its honesty, there is an element of mystery because it’s a mere snapshot- one frame in the context of the greater picture. i’m drawn to the nature of photography that allows for open interpretation, to question if what you’re seeing is really true, which is sometimes analogous to my own character.
it’s been more than 2 years since i have taken a serious photograph. in august 2007, i decided to explore a portrait series regarding asian masculinity. i gathered subjects, brought my equipment, and finished a successful day of shooting. i was very satisfied at how the day went and was looking forward to developing my negatives. however, the same day, my equipment, which included my negatives, got stolen. i was left with nothing. this incident devastated me and left me to question what kind of sign God was sending me. but thankfully, God only wanted to emphatically reveal that i wasn’t going to do this alone and not by my own will. it’s His that i had to be concerned with.
since then, i found no purpose in the photographs i took or the ideas i came up with because it didn’t consider who God was. every time i thought of a new idea, i asked myself, “why does this matter? what purpose will it serve?” i really didn’t know. instead of perfecting my skills in the meantime, i just came to a stifling halt. i couldn’t find a clear path for a new beginning.
now, i venture into photojournalism-painfully raw and an occupation/interest/life passion that i never thought could be realized. but here i am. and before i embark this journey, i face the reality of my true competence and aptitude: i don’t think i’m that great. i’m not saying that to be modest, either. the ideas that exist in my head never manifest the way i envisioned, but this makes me rely on making things work with what i’ve got. what i’ve got is God. i have utter dependence on God for each photograph to tangibly represent the gospel. i’m confronted with this humbling truth that i believe will break my tendency to allure viewers with mystery and instead, focus on the honesty of a single moment.
my hope is to give God all the credit. i constantly question Him asking, “who am i that you have chosen me to go?” i thank Him for choosing the weakest, the most incapable, the most afraid, because there’s no other explanation but Christ to turn to.
“It helps now and then to step back and take the long view. The Kingdom is not only beyond our efforts, it is beyond our vision. We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of the magnificent enterprise that is God’s work. Nothing we do is complete, which is another way of saying that the Kingdom always lies beyond us. No statement says all that could be said. No prayer fully expresses our faith. No confession brings perfection. No pastoral visit brings wholeness. No program accomplishes the Church’s mission. No set of goals and objectives includes everything. That is what we are about: We plant seeds that one day will grow. We water seeds already planted, knowing that they hold future promise.We lay foundations that will need further development. We provide yeast that produces effects beyond our capabilities. We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that. This enables us to do something, and to do it very well.It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way, an opportunity for God’s grace to enter and do the rest. We may never see the end results, but that is the difference between the master builder and the worker. We are workers, not Master Builders, ministers, not Messiahs. We are prophets of a future not our own.”
-Bishop Oscar Romero
